then in 2008 I met this person and she was charming, seemed to be well traveled and was a Geek like me. We hit it off, and became fast friends. We worked togther to raise money for Charity. And I tried to be there for her thru all of her hardships. Hell I even took her 3 sibling in as foster kids for a full year and in the end, all I got from it, was heart ache, an almost destroyed marriage, very few friends and the 80lb. back on my body.
I was also diagnosed with depression and anxiety. And one day in January of 2012 I felt so indifferent that I almost did the unthinkable, but the faces of my two precious kids flashed into my mind and I decided that my story wasn't over yet. I tried for 3 more months to see if I was the problem, but come to find out, thanks to my wonderful sister, it wasn't really me.
Well it sort of was, cause I wanted to please her, and wanted to help her and make everything right, the problem is, you can't please a narcissist. They manipulate you into thinking that it's all your fault, that you are the reason for anything that isn't right. Well my sister and my husband helped me end the Friendship.
It felt like a divorce, as I didn't even want to fight for the etsy business we had at the time together and just gave it to her. (needless to say, she went out of business after less than two years)
It is now 4.5yrs later, and I sometimes still mourn the good times we had, but then I look at this...
and realize I am no longer that person. It has taken me 4.5 years to find myself again, cause she literally detroyed my identity. She isolated me from friends. And some friends that still know me now, realize that I am actually a totally different person, inside and out. I am no longer this weak person and I will never let anybody do this to me again.
In this Journey of healing I started to take care of myself again in this past year. I lost 45lb. and I still have ways to go, but I love myself. I love my smiles, I love my creativity, I love life. I still have depression, but it doesn't run my life, I still get anxiety when a phonecall comes in, but not nearly as bad as it used to be.
Taking care of yourself is important. Look at these two women, they are so different. And I love them both. Cause they are me.
My journey is not over yet, but I am working on it every day and this is more about my mental healing and taking care of myself. When the mind is at easy the body will follow. At least for me that is true.
And I know people still tell me, you need to let this go. No I don't, it is part of my life, even thou it was a very sucky part of my life, it is part of it. I am learning from it, I am letting go, I even feel petty for her. As she still tries her schemes on other people, but that is no longer a concern of mine. She is far away from me.
I have build my life back up with my husband, my two kids, my family and my friends. I have some of my old friends that have stuck with me thru this and I have made a lot of new friends since then.
So here is to life after the Toxicity of a nasty person...
~Claudia
#alwayskeepfighting
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